Comments on: Your Mother Wears Combat Boots http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/ Looking for ways to make a difference. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:05:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Mark Ciccarello http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/comment-page-1/#comment-487 Mark Ciccarello Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:08:28 +0000 http://thestrandedstarfish.com/?p=456#comment-487 You should send this to Obama. You should send this to Obama.

]]> By: joe http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/comment-page-1/#comment-483 joe Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:11:22 +0000 http://thestrandedstarfish.com/?p=456#comment-483 Now that's a better example. Mind if I re-write and use your story instead? :) Now that’s a better example. Mind if I re-write and use your story instead? :)

]]> By: Paul Higginbottom http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/comment-page-1/#comment-481 Paul Higginbottom Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:46:22 +0000 http://thestrandedstarfish.com/?p=456#comment-481 Once when meeting a very agitated customer who was yelling, I responded with (sternly and intently) - "Look, we both need this to work, and yelling at me won't help. You've given a long list of issues to resolve and it's changed each time we've met. What I need you to do to help me help you is give me your top 10 - I promise to tackle those, and then when we've got those done, give me your next top 10, and continue until we're in good shape." That seemed to work, the customer actually liked that I 'stood up' to the yelling, got on the 'same side of the table' as them (we both need it to work), and gave an approach that would more efficiently lead to success. Once when meeting a very agitated customer who was yelling, I responded with (sternly and intently) – “Look, we both need this to work, and yelling at me won’t help. You’ve given a long list of issues to resolve and it’s changed each time we’ve met. What I need you to do to help me help you is give me your top 10 – I promise to tackle those, and then when we’ve got those done, give me your next top 10, and continue until we’re in good shape.”

That seemed to work, the customer actually liked that I ‘stood up’ to the yelling, got on the ‘same side of the table’ as them (we both need it to work), and gave an approach that would more efficiently lead to success.

]]> By: joe http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/comment-page-1/#comment-480 joe Sun, 27 Jun 2010 18:51:36 +0000 http://thestrandedstarfish.com/?p=456#comment-480 Great advice, Tim. Just like most methods there are appropriate times. Maybe I should use a better example. I would contend that with some people that are naturally confrontational that a measured, confrontational response is the best tactic. That's where I think this method works best, with people that don't naturally come to a conversation level headed. Meet them where they live and them walk them back to where you live. If someone were naturally level headed but on this occasion were unusually emotional I would instead come in flying low and calm. They know the path home - it's where they live. There's also a big difference from always having this turned on as a response. It needs to be used sparingly - any more than that and you might be the person on the other side of this example. Great advice, Tim. Just like most methods there are appropriate times. Maybe I should use a better example.

I would contend that with some people that are naturally confrontational that a measured, confrontational response is the best tactic. That’s where I think this method works best, with people that don’t naturally come to a conversation level headed. Meet them where they live and them walk them back to where you live.

If someone were naturally level headed but on this occasion were unusually emotional I would instead come in flying low and calm. They know the path home – it’s where they live.

There’s also a big difference from always having this turned on as a response. It needs to be used sparingly – any more than that and you might be the person on the other side of this example.

]]> By: Tim http://thestrandedstarfish.com/your-mother-wears-combat-boots/comment-page-1/#comment-479 Tim Sun, 27 Jun 2010 16:05:26 +0000 http://thestrandedstarfish.com/?p=456#comment-479 I would advise caution here. You may want to match the tone and convey the same sense of urgency, but your example is confrontational. If you responded to me, when agitated, with "what do you mean I don't care about the customer?!?" I'd probably have a two word response. I agree that you might need to match tone in order to draw the conversation back into a more reasonable place, but you have to be EXTREMELY careful. Just two cents from someone who's been called "excitable" in the past. I would advise caution here. You may want to match the tone and convey the same sense of urgency, but your example is confrontational. If you responded to me, when agitated, with “what do you mean I don’t care about the customer?!?” I’d probably have a two word response. I agree that you might need to match tone in order to draw the conversation back into a more reasonable place, but you have to be EXTREMELY careful.

Just two cents from someone who’s been called “excitable” in the past.

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