The Stranded Starfish | Looking for ways to make a difference.

I Am the Sandman

joe — Sat 15-Dec-12

Dear Santa Panic started to sit in as Thanksgiving weekend passed without single idea of what our kids wanted for Christmas. Being college freshman, I would think their list would be endless. I remember the expressions on their faces when we sat down to try and figure out their lists. You would have thought that they were having that dream where they show up to class realizing that there’s a Physics final and they forgot to study.

It wasn’t until an Aha! moment with our son, Jared, that I realized the gift they both needed but neither would think to ask for. Continue Reading…

In Higher Ground christmas, priorities, rock, sand

You Gotta Keep ’em Separated

joe — Sat 1-Dec-12

I suspect man has had control issues from the first day they put two of them together. For many that might have been Eve eating the apple. For others it was probably the first cave owners’ meeting when the Hominids needed to establish their HOA covenants.

I remember a meeting many years ago when my boss, Keith, held a brainstorming session with our management team. We were huddled in a small room and I volunteered to be the scribe, collecting the ideas and writing them on the whiteboard. It was a subject I was very passionate about, so I was contributing more than my fair share of ideas. I was on fire.

We then took a break. Obviously my boss thought this amazing idea generating engine of mine needed to get some fuel before it kicked in again. That’s when Keith pulled me aside and told me a simple phrase that has since changed the way I look at my role. “Joe,” he said, “If you have the chalk, you do not talk.” Did my boss just pee on my cornflakes?

In Leadership control, facilitation, Leadership

The Little Person Perspective

joe — Sat 17-Nov-12

Black Friday It’s Thanksgiving week here in the States.Thanksgiving is one of the safe holidays. No religious affiliation required like Easter, no need to celebrate the dark arts like Halloween, and no need to reveal your pro-rodent support like Groundhog Day. Just gorge out and put up with Uncle Harold for a little while.

It’s also the time when Facebook will light up with everyone’s “I am thankful for…” postings. After a very difficult election season on Facebook, I am really looking forward to this change in visual landscape.

The hard part for me is that one of the things I am most thankful for also scares me. I have a great ability to understand why people believe what they do, and this can be a blessing and a curse. Continue Reading…

In Higher Ground compassion, empathy, thanksgiving, worldview

Damn Words

joe — Sat 3-Nov-12

Writers Block I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks; struggling to write a new column.

It all started about a month ago when I decided to look back at the body of work that is The Stranded Starfish and see what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown. Being the typical engineer, I started with data. I built a spreadsheet that listed all of the past articles and some interesting details like number of columns, average word count per column, etc. I also write a weekly innovation column for work, so I included that data as well.

The stats surprised me. In these few short years, I’ve written close to 100,000 words in 120 columns. When I went back and read a bunch of the articles, I was again surprised by the variety of topics covered. There were some columns I barely remember, until I read them again and fondly recalled why I wrote them in the first place.

Here’s the problem: the next column I write will only move the dial 0.8% from where I stand now. It will only be one of 121 columns. It will have to stand against other columns that were as intense as the death of two of my coworkers and as widely cited as the column on performance reviews. How could what I write next possibly matter?

Continue Reading…

In Higher Ground starfish, today, writer's block, yesterday

Peace Be With You, Don Hall

joe — Sat 15-Sep-12

Don and Family Life is messy. We try to add order to it by giving it labels and categories as if we all were handed a Dymo label maker at birth. You are probably either a Baby Boomer, Gen Xer, or Gen Yer. At one time I was a DINK (Dual Income, No Kids). Labels help give us control over the millions of variables that seep into our being.

That became more evident this week with the tragic death of a friend of mine, Don Hall. Next to loving his family, Don died doing what he loved second best, flying his plane. Continue Reading…

In Higher Ground don hall, friendship, iron, popular

I’m a Big Fat Boogerhead

joe — Mon 3-Sep-12

The closer we get to the election, the less I like Facebook. I am so tired of the name calling coming from all sides. I am exhausted from the vicious personal attacks all rendered in the name of one’s political party. I don’t like the pack mentality that ensues in discussing issues. I love the people, I just really dislike most of their affiliations – even my own.

Groups are like that and there is great research that demonstrates they have always been that way. We have just become more sensitive to it with the advent of always connected tools like Facebook and Twitter.

We all need to belong to a group – it is our social nature. The challenge is that groups usually develop a personality of their own, often more extreme than it’s constituents. In social science circles, this is called group polarization, and it has lead to some very dark moments in world history.
Continue Reading…

In Learning groups, groupthink, opinion

Push Me Pull You

joe — Sat 11-Aug-12

Mommy text One of my fondest memories of my father came when I was five years old. It was the moment I realized Dad valued my opinion and truly cared what I thought.

“Son, do you think I am stupid?”, he said in a harsh voice that seemed to belie his deep need for feedback.

To this day I don’t recall my answer, but answer I did. I think the surprise of the whoopin’ I got makes everything kind of hazy.

It was several years ago that a dear friend of mine, Gary, asked me another important question. We had just met and he was new to the company when he asked, “How will I know when I am successful here?”