The Stranded Starfish

Our house sits on a very heavily wooded lot surrounded by large oak, maple, and cherry trees. Sitting on our back porch, staring at this beautiful forest is where I write nearly all of the Stranded Starfish columns. It is here where I see the hand of our Creator at work.

Then when I peer around the corner of the house I come in full view of what can only be described as God wanting to express himself. Here stands a tree that was given to me by my wife and mother-in-law, a constant reminder of how much they understand me. I cannot pass by this tree without stopping to notice it and go “Wow!”

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Several months ago I was on a phone interview for a job when the interviewer asked “How do you motivate your employees?” In a moment of mouth before brain I responded with my initial thought, “Why? Are your employees not motivated?”

Reality was that I wasn’t that interested in the position and I don’t think they were that interested in me otherwise I would have been more careful. But I was dead serious about the question. My reply was simply (more…)

Did you ever watch someone apply their best mental jujitsu in a heated discussion only to see them flame out with a look of “what just happened?” Not only have I seen this, I seem to be a regular participant.

One of the reasons it happens to me is that I make a simple incorrect assumption about how to approach the other person. While I think I am doing the right thing the Law of Unintended Consequences comes (more…)

Creativity is a fascinating beast. Some people seem to have it in droves – others, “Bless their hearts” as southerners would say, weren’t so equipped. But what makes a person creative – is it nature or nurture?

The answer is a resounding “Yes?” We all have different physiological profiles that makes us more or less capable, but the people around you have just as much influence on whether you are creative or not. To get to the nurture we first need to step through the nature and a tiny bit of science. I promise it won’t hurt.

You may have heard the expression “scientists have never found a gene responsible for creativity” and it is technically (more…)

If you thought that a Hidden Mickey was something they used in old spy movies from the 60′s then you probably haven’t been to the Magic Kingdom with young ones before. Better yet, if you aren’t familiar with the sport of Spotting the Hidden Mickeys you will no longer be able to walk through a Disney attraction with such beautifully ignorant bliss.

Hidden Mickey – A partial or complete impression of Mickey Mouse placed by the Imagineers and artists to blend into the designs of Disney attractions, hotels, restaurants, and other areas.

The task of Spotting Hidden Mickeys can be very addictive – there are (more…)

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say Colonel Sanders? Chicken, right? How about Hank Aaron, Job, or Debbie “Mrs.” Fields? Despite the incredible complexity and richness of each of these people each are predominantly known for one standout thing.

Unless you are an avid football fan you may not known Rudi Johnson. Rudi is a running back in the NFL that is superior to nearly all other running backs in one way – he hardly ever (more…)

There’s a busy street corner in the northern suburbs of Atlanta that seems like a great location for a restaurant. Lots of traffic, a movie theater across the street, a Home Depot next door and a WalMart across the street. That’s apparently what at least eight other entrepreneurs have thought over the last 15 years – each one having put in a low end Mexican eatery into the exact same location after the previous one failed.

Let me replay what I envision the conversation between the last owner and the loan officer (more…)

I’ll let you in on a very personal secret. Get a little closer to the screen as I don’t want everyone to know this.

I like to have fun.

If you knew that already then it shouldn’t surprise you that I surround myself with people that make life fun. My wife Beth holds the title of the single person that makes me laugh most. I think our teenage kids, Jared and Lauren would concur. Heck I think that any of our kids’ friends that have been around her would agree.

Let me give you an example that is completely typical of her everyday style and how it plays into today’s confession. (more…)

Did you ever meet one of those people that after only a few minutes of conversation you get so wrapped up into what they are saying that time disappears? I’m not talking about a romantic attraction but someone that grabs your heart in a very different way – in a way that takes you out of the struggles of everyday life up to a higher ground. I did this week and her name was Mary Alice.

Sitting in a window seat on a very full flight from Detroit to Orlando an (more…)

Iguanas, leopards and humans all share one thing in common, we all make first impressions. For an iguana, first impressions are primarily used to decide fight or flight. Leopards added the ability to have first impressions that include emotions. Humans topped this all with the incredible ability to screw it all up with complex reasoning.

The difference between these three systems is largely one of time. An iguana that takes an hour (more…)

You know those little pieces of advice that you love to tell others but forget to use yourself? I have one of those that recently made all the difference in the world for me and my family.

I was in a mentoring session with a dear friend when they explained to me that they weren’t feeling fulfilled in their role as a manager. After going through countless, complicated stories of unhappiness, I told them that there is a magic formula that I employ to determine if I am in the right job.

“Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.” – Steve Farber, The Radical Leap

No sooner had I uttered those words then the sound of something similar to 2000 pounds of brick crashing to the ground rang through my ears. I had forgotten to use my own advice. When I finally did, there, in perfect three part harmony stood the source of what had been brewing inside of me for the last several months. (more…)

It’s been a difficult week – a week of highs, a week of great introspection and a week where I discovered something very painful about my role here. To get to this discovery, I need to introduce a little bit of history.

Thirteen years ago I became the first engineering manager at a very small startup called Internet Security Systems. Like many startups, it was the wild west of times. We were brash, confident to a fault, energetic, willing to do whatever it took to conquer the world. It was the definition of (more…)

I believe that no matter how happy you are, you have at least 10% of your psyche dedicated to bitching. For many, it can be quite a bit more, but everyone has at least 10%.

If you are a leader and want to help your teams it is critical that you know a little bit about this and how it may cause you to do exactly the wrong thing despite your best intentions.

Despite having a great day, week or life, there is always some natural tension eating at us that we need or would like to change. This dissonance (more…)

I am a voracious reader when it comes to non-fiction, especially books on leadership, sociology and cognitive theory. However, little of what I gain from reading a book comes from the written material. The main reason I read is because of what happens after I finish.

In 1992 I was shopping for a new car and stopped by the local Honda dealership. After telling the salesman that “sporty” was the image I was seeking he told me to check out the new Prelude. I had seen the Prelude before – just a little nicer Accord in my opinion. This year was different as the Prelude had just received a sporty new overhaul. I loved it. I had to have it. Wow, I don’t think anyone knew about this well kept (more…)

“Music and silence combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of music.” - Marcel Marceau

Being very new to this writing world, one in which I have very little skill but a great eagerness to learn, I am amazed at some early discoveries. My favorite is learning how many words need to be written to find the right ones. I would guess that I probably cut out 4-5 words for every word I include. This past sentence alone was originally a whole paragraph.

The main reason so much material gets cut is that it takes the place of the reader and doesn’t allow them to become part of the conversation. In other words I fill (more…)

I had lunch this week with a friend that works in another company. Their firm was recently acquired which left him a bit nervous about his future. He decided it was time to leave. When he gave his notice his boss told him what an incredible future he had in this new acquisition because the new company’s team was mediocre at best and that he would shine like a star without having to do anything.

Hmmm, that was supposed to be his motivation to stay – being surrounded by mediocrity.

Actually, being surrounded by mediocrity may be exactly what you are looking for in a company. Not for the reason that my friend’s boss indicated, (more…)

How many good things that have happened to you came because of your diligent planning? I imagine quite a few. Now think hard, how many were the result of a chance opportunity – maybe an opportunity that was pure luck?

As a leader of a Bible study that question comes up quite often. If you are a theist, is coincidence the result of God’s influence in our everyday life or does our Creator not get involved in every day to day happening? If you believe the latter or are a non-theist, is coincidence simply a state of natural synchronicity as conceived by Jung?

Wow – talk about deep, somewhat paralyzing thoughts. Regardless of which formative cause you believe, I think Louis Pasteur simplified things to a point that we can act when he said that “Chance favors only the prepared mind.”
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Yesterday I was listening to a senior politician state the “buck stops here”. What exactly does that mean? No, I know what the phrase means but what does it really mean? What happens as the result of the buck stopping there? (more…)

I really despise suck-ups. In building a management team I first look for someone that can challenge me and my ideas. There must be an honest, respectful tension of ideas in order to build confidence in the decisions we will make.

The key word from that previous sentence was not honest or tension, but rather respectful. (more…)

I suspect the right brainers out there are now singing to themselves “You saw me standing alone” while the left brainers are reflecting on the fact that this is the first time in 19 years we’ve had a Blue Moon on New Years Eve. (more…)