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Squirrel!

joe —  Fri 25-Oct-13 — Leave a comment

Helly BellysHaving recently lost a significant amount of weight, most of my hallway conversations involve someone asking, “So, what’s your secret?” I try to make the conversation a little more fun by responding, “I like to yodel in the shower,” or “I was that fifth dentist that actually preferred sugared over sugarless gum.”

This doesn’t help my relationships.

As an experiment to see how long I could keep a straight face, I once told someone that my secret was jelly beans. I explained how it wasn’t just any jelly beans, but Jelly Bellys. I explained how Jelly Bellys use a special kind of sugar that binds at a molecular level with fats that are then more readily removed from the body. I told them that the popcorn and Dr. Pepper flavors had higher concentrations of these sugars and were more effective. I lost it when I tried to explain how ingesting the popcorn and Dr. Pepper flavors together while watching television would make them feel like they were in a movie theater.

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